first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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