By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
