marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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