Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
