Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
