exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You need a sexual gate keeper
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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