The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
