I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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