Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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