Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
