I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
