we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
FUCK WHALES
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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