i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
