So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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