hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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