You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
