I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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