She said her name was "party"
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
