I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
