yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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