was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
