how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How does one acquire holy water?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
