this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Your penis caused this!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
