five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
