So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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