defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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