Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
