She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
