So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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