dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
