i was born a porn star she said
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize