I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
