I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
COCAINE IS GR8
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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