My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
