hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I wish my penis had an off switch
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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