Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
