I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
