theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
