Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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