only if we run a train.
done.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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