hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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