why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
