The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
