Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My dick has a subreddit
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
