i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
