can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
