we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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