what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Too much gin, very little bucket
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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