so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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