Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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