Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
