If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
