You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
