id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
