Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
