yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
