You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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