well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
