Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
