We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
