Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
