let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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