Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize