I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
