She announced her abortion via fbk
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I AM VODKA MAN
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
